What Christina Grimmie Meant To Me

 {Photot credit: Christina Grimmie Facebook)

{Photot credit: Christina Grimmie Facebook)

At around 1 a.m. Saturday morning I was getting ready to call it a night (aka take a nap). Per routine, I check my Twitter to see if anything new going on or any news that I should pay attention to (read that article) in the morning. The news that I seen I could not believe!

Out of the blue I see multiple people I follow saying Christina Grimmie was shot and is in critical condition. Although these are people that would not joke around in that kind of manner, I still did not believe them. Once I tried falling asleep, I checked Twitter again and I seen #PrayForChristina trending In a matter of seconds. At that point I knew this was not another case of Twitter trying to kill someone off like a movie scene.

Okay, I feel like I may draw this part out way too long, so I'll try to keep it short. Within a 2 hour span my Twitter timeline changed in sections that I and I'm sure others was not prepared for.

Phase 1 went from fans all around the world talking to each other, sending prayers to Christina, her family, everyone at the concert, everyone of her fans on Twitter, and in general to fake articles being written just for attention saying Christina died (which is the one part of Twitter I absolutely hate), and ended briefly.

Phase 2 (which many including myself) thought was the end for now. The Orlando Police released a Tweet stating that Christina was still in critical condition.

Phase 3 came within minutes after Phase 2 and solidified our worse nightmares. ABC, and Fox35 Orlando being the first couple to release the sad news and confirming that Christina did not survive her gunshot wounds and passed away.

#PrayForChristina changed to #RIPChristina and my heart sank to my stomach. 

In 2009, Christina was 15 years old and began covering songs on her YouTube channel. I was 19 years old and a sophomore in college. Around this time is when I began watching and subscribing to YouTubers faithfully. One thing that caught my attention before even hearing her sing was her username. 

Christina (aka zeldaxlove64) had the most amazing voice and even better sense of humor. She was also a huge Nintendo fan, which me being a biased Nintendo lover as well, that just made it that much easier for me to keep pressing play on her videos without hesitation. 

There were times when I was beyond exhausted from school work that I would just rush to my dorm room, put my laptop on the desk, press play on her playlist, and just watch/listen to them until I fell asleep. 

 

Christina was a unique YouTuber with her original songs and sarcastic humor, yet her fan influenced series "Above All That Is Random" was bar none the height of my day in college. 

My favorite song from her first album Find Me is "Liar Liar." As she said she was in a dark place during the making of this song, ironically enough, so was I. 

I don’t need to know you’ll be there
You’re not on my mind
I don’t need to know you care
Please don’t waste my time

When Christina was not singing covers to the latest songs and songs she genuinely loved, she also began to vlog as well. At the time I did not know much about vlogs at all as I was getting into blogging myself (I connected the two similarities quickly). 

As time progressed, I was so excited to see how much success was happening in her life. Her videos started to receive 100,000 views quickly, to 1 million views with ease within a week. She went from the YouTube sensation we hoped to keep all to ourselves, to an artist that the public began to enjoy for her music abilities. As an originally fan of course it was sarcastically selfish to say "Christina is ours, let the mainstream fans of other artists stay on their side."

Nonetheless Christina's success grew beyond even her own wildest dreams. However, one thing Christina never did was change how she was as a nerdy talented artist, nor the appreciation of her fans ever. Christina did not turn into a diva whom now was working with big names in the entertainment industry like many do.  Her infectious charisma is something that we will all miss greatly and may never experience again.

Personally there are a lot of public figures/artists that I love for their work respectively and when the worse case news comes in that they pass, I genuinely feel as if it is only right to never let their names be forgotten.

But this... this feels like I have a lost a close friend and it just doesn't seem like this is real. I've read all of the credible news articles released tonight, I have seen the confirmation from others on Twitter, and I even pinched myself a few times to make sure I was dreaming... but I'm not.  

I can't even imagine what her brother will be thinking for the rest of his life. He bravely tackled the gunman, yet according to some articles, the gunman fatally shot himself before the tackle. I hope the gunman's name nor his picture never sees the day of light anymore. In all due respect to his family, he doesn't deserve any sympathy at all.

Christina, words cannot express the feelings that I have right now. Maybe in a few days I will find them or maybe I never will. This is all about you. You were and will always be a talented, kind, loving, humble, and nerdy individual that will be loved forever.

If there is one way to properly end this blog post even though it hurts to, I think this is the best way I can at least show you my gratitude and love for everything you have done for my life. The joy, the laughs, the confidence to start putting my work out to the public and just being confident about it while having... just everything! 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I wish I could have come to one of your concerts like I planned to, but your YouTube videos will be the concerts that I watch every single day. Your songs and albums always have a home in my iPod/iPad/iPhone/computers forever. 

You are Titanium love... you are Titanium Christina Grimmie! Team Grimmie forever! <3