How To Cope With Losing Friends

If there is one hope that I would have preferred not having when I was a kid growing up is keeping every friend I've met. When I wondered why many of my elders frequently stated that they didn't need many friends, I wondered were they just being prune individuals. 

Nonetheless, the timeless mantra "you'll understand when you become a grown adult" is quite prevalent today. 

I have had a few people whom I considered really good friends just leave out of the blue. While every one of them were individuals who complained about the same minuscule excuse (which will be the first thing I cover), it has also helped me for future reference.

1) If you told them, then it's not your fault. 

One thing that I have learned since working for myself is that people will try to take advantage of my time and niceness way more than before. For some odd reason, many people believe that I have way more free time than ever before. I wish that was the case. In fact, I'm working more hours per day and week now than I did working for someone else. I don't have a wide amount of leisure time.  

I have thousands of friends from all around the world, there is no possible way I can talk to everyone every day. There are friends I haven't spoke to in a few months. Why? We all have our own lives! We are busy being professions in our careers. No one hates another, we just understand that we are not the center of attention.  

One close friend is in Antartica right now. I love her to death and she's basically the only friend who knows everything about (and going on) with me. One thing she has never done (like the others mentioned earlier) was complain and leave just because we didn't talk for 24 hours, one week or even one month! She knows when I'm busy working and vice versa.

If someone is willing to sever a friendship just because you don't reply to their message(s) exactly when they think you should, then that's not someone who is built to be your lifetime friend to begin with.

2) Never release any classified secrets

While the friendship no longer exists (no matter whose fault it was) do not be that person to seek revenge immorally. Any secrets that you were told were spoken under an unwritten friendship code of conduct. Even if their actions caused the demise of this friendship, no matter how angry you are, uphold your end of the bargain. There are secrets from individuals I have a strong distaste for (hate would be a bit strong... but not far away) locked away in mind never to see the light of day. 

3) Go make some new friends! 

if you just so happen to be on the end of disloyalty from others, finding trust in another may seem easier said than done. I have come to terms that no matter how great a friendship is now, tomorrow they could leave without a single word or reason. I'll remember the good times, but I won't act as if there are not billions of people on this planet that I can't find similarities and friendships with. 

At the end of the day, I hate (there is the H word) how friendships work now and days. Very few (and I mean 3) ex-friendships I look back on and say "If we ever meet again, we can talk over coffee and try being friends again. If not, then I wish then nothing but the best." However if the latter never happens, I know the friends that I never have to worry about... and I'm fine with them.

*Bonus: Entrepreneurs... Social Media Business > Personal 

As much as I have thrown out the idea of not using Facebook anymore by going cold turkey or simply using it less, I think this was the straw that broke the camels back. One thing that I have learned since working for myself is seeing how much ex-friends didn't really respect me or my time anymore. All because I work for myself and I spend most of my days/nights in front of the computer does not mean I am on social media and/or my phone at all times. Honestly, when I am working I usually keep my phone on the opposite side of the room and I'm not on Facebook or Twitter unless it is to releasing blog posts.

I'm seriously going to start making the transition to ween myself from using idle time to be on social media (unless it is business related). I know it might take some time, but I'm honestly tired of this new mess and it's only going to get worse if I let it.

For some weird reason I apparently have more free time than people who work normal 9-5 jobs (as the departed ex-friends all believed). I wish that was the case. I actually spend more time working now, than I did working a regular job. I don't have more free time as some might think, I just have all the control of my time. By that control, it does not mean I'm stopping in the middle of a 3000 word article (that pays the bills) to have a conversation just because someone wants it. You've never been able to interrupt me at work when I was at a regular job, don't think you can do it now.