Awake & Alive

I remember the time when life hit me so hard
That I did not even see the punch
I just felt concrete on my head
Which I assume I was laid out on the ground
Thinking that I'm looking at the sky
All I seen a white 
Or what I thought was
The White Light
Only to see numbers pop up
1… 2… 3…4
This mysterious voice continued counting up
Until it was at 9
I felt immobilized
I couldn't move a finger
But I could hear my own thoughts

"I'm so scared
Please don't reach 10
Because then I know it is all over
Everything I've worked so hard for
All of my dreams that I didn't get to live 
No one will ever know
Since my deepest, darkest secrets are in a vault
And I'm the only person who knows the code
In my mind
I have to get up, I just have to!"

Appeared in this white light
I screamed with every thing I could muster up in my soul


This mysterious 1…
Just stayed there
I knew it has been more than 1 second
So this felt like torture
Then I heard a familiar voice
A familiar name
Then I knew…

"Kenonye I'm here!"

This was not the voice doing the countdown
This was my sister from another family
A friend I was introduced by our mutual friend Jade

She passed away during my senior year
She gave me that nickname and no one ever calls me by that name
Except her
I screamed again
But this time I felt as if I was losing my voice

"Mia help me please! 
I don't know what is going on, but please help me!"

"This is not like you
Why are you still down? 
You are not dying
Life hit you with a sucker punch
And what you are experiencing is life 
Hitting you with every fiber in its being
You may be down, but you are never out
I heard all of your thoughts
Remember the conversations we had
Remember when I told you no matter life does to you
Never give up… ever!
Now get up and show life how strong you really are"

Out of no where 
The white light began to fade away
I was standing on a bridge
Not knowing how I got there
Trying to figure out if my mind was laying tricks on me
Or teaching me a valuable lesson of being awake & alive