To Learn Is To Grow (2014 Personal Overview)

Entering 2014 after a devastating 2013, I decided that I would do a lot of re-building on myself. I compared myself harshly based upon the 2012 me which was to me my best year so far personally and business wise. In 2012 I was on top of my game, every goal that I set for myself other than moving to NYC I accomplished with ease. In 2013 I started to lose motivation and I don't know why, but I felt and seen it every day I looked in the mirror. 

2014 was the perfect time to say "Hey, I know what I am capable of, and I need to get back to that point again." I set a lot of little goals this year instead of the ambitious and typical risky chances that I normally would because I wasn't strong enough. I figured out how to still be an over-thinker (which has gotten me so far), without over-thinking and wasting time on minuscule things, thoughts, and ideas. I learned how to get out of my own way, despite being my own worse critic. 

Being featured on Italia Vogue in February and March was a good way to start out the year and re-build my confidence again. I started to figure out how to become a better storyteller/photographer, and how to stand out from others. I figured out how to create stories/photos from my perspective and creativity whether they are fiction or non-fiction, something I and anyone who views my work could relate to. 

Along the way this year, I was able to travel bits of the east coast (my favorite coast in the United States to explore) which is where I learned a lot of lessons this year. I began to pay more attention to how I really want to live life, rather than the idea of just living life. I realized that it's okay to let go of people I once called friends, some people are just not meant to stay forever which was a hard pill to swallow.

This year I started to live a minimalistic lifestyle. I stopped watching TV shows for the sole purpose of entertainment because if I can't learn something from them, then I am just wasting my time. All that extra time allowed for me to read books and watch documentaries that matter more on a daily basis instead of a "whenever I have free time" schedule. Every article of clothing I've purchased such as pants, shirts, and shoes I bought from the local thrift store that is in my neighborhood. Not that I have ever been into name brand clothes (with the exceptions of great quality suits and ties) I also learned how to save money better. I became more organized this year, instead of just making 3 to-do lists with everything on them, I categorize my tasks by "Extremely Important (Code Purple)" "When Possible (Code Blue)" and "Take Care of During Off-Time (Code Green)" which has helped me a lot.

2014 was not all rainbows & unicorns for me, but it wasn't a year that I felt as if I was trying to run in quick sand with steel toe boots on every day either. A lot of opportunities despite not being as productive as I know I can be have still come my way. The most important thing that happened this year is that I traveled back to my hometown (Kansas City) for the first time in almost 3 years. To my family, close friend and even myself, almost 3 years of not being back home seemed like forever (literally). 

Now that I have my old 2012 mindset & confidence back, I created way more ambitious goals to chase and achieve for 2015.

  • Travel somewhere at least once a month whether it is out of state or within my state that I live in.
  • Stop being afraid of the ideas/photo concepts/creative stories that I have in notebooks, on my laptop computer, cell phone, and believe more in myself. 
  • Be more grateful for what I have and stop being selfish that I don't have what I want just yet. 
  • Finally self-publish at least one of the books out of many that I have been working on for years by any means necessary.
  • Volunteer/give back to those in need as much as possible.
  • Create a firm strategic plan and start planning to become solely independent on my own businesses rather than working for others by the end of 2015 or the 2nd quarter of 2016.
  • And most importantly (which may be new to some of you) stop being afraid of going to Church and making excuses as to why I can't go. My parents raised me under a Christian household, and after I left their home at 17, I have been scared to go to any church anywhere I have lived because I felt alone. Every Sunday when I was a kid, when I went to Church, my family was there, and I felt safe, but for some odd reason I never felt safe going alone. God has gotten me through so much, stayed by my side and blessed me in ways that I didn't (and still don't as to now) feel like I deserve. I know I'm not the most amazing Christian ever, and that scared me because I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite in His eyes. 

I'm so excited to finally start blogging again and sharing what goes on in my crazy life again with you all. The 1.5 months I took off to re-design edit, and self-reflect was worth it. While I definitely have a lot more to work on with this website/blog (design wise and updates) I'm confident enough to get out of my own way again… finally!

Oh by the way, I kinda failed NaNoWrimo yet again this year! But I still have a new book/material which is good… right? 

Love & Coffee Beans,