Looking At The Big Picture
To learn something about yourself should be easy right? Or maybe you need to experience a situation that makes you think about life a little bit different.
"Your life is your own. You're free to work hard at one thing or try many different things!" - Lady from Virbank City
If you don't know what Virbank City is connected to, then this is a great time to tell you that I bought myself a gift for working so hard the past 3 weeks.
I did it! Celebrating a spontaneous made-up holiday I created for myself called Happy Reward Yourself Day. Yesterday I purchased a Nintendo 3DS XL and Pokemon Black Version 2! I spent hours in Gamestop debating whether I should purchase the regular 3DS or 3DS XL, Pokemon Black Version 2 or Pokemon White Version 2. By the way I contemplated my decision, you would have thought I was shopping for my first brand new car or first home.
It felt good to finally relax, do something that was completely unrelated to work. I spent hours battling other trainers, wild Pokemon and gym leaders, but the most what meant more to me than just a video game, was talking to random strangers.
Kind of like the same way I have been in real life with my photography friends for the past few years. Meeting people who in the blink of an eye made a huge difference and without knowing opened up my eyes to see the bigger picture.
"When you just can't stand it anymore, scream at the ocean!"
Who would have known that by playing a video game, I would dream about what these people actually said. Sometimes, I do feel that way. The feeling of not being able to stand it anymore and wanting to scream at the ocean. The ocean didn't do anything to me, but if I looked closer in the clear water, I would see a reflection of me... and that is who I am screaming at.
I've spent numerous hours working as a chef in restaurants, some that I loved and some that I absolutely hated waking up to having to spend majority of my day at.
Now if you have already come to a conclusion in your own mind about the last sentence, then let me clarify it for you. I am not implying that I will stop being a chef. I love cooking and will never sign up for a divorce, no matter how much pain I get from it at times because some of my happiest moments have come from cooking in restaurants.
I just think that it's time that I change things in my own life. Dedicate myself to well... life. My family who I have not seen since September 2012 after moving to Chicago, my friends, some whom I have not seen in a while and some who I am able to see through video chatting or catch up with on Facebook. My other loves writing and photography. One of my closest friends Mike and his long-time girlfriend just had their first baby back home this past weekend and I wasn't there. Those are the moments that I am missing, special occasions that happen only once and it's all because I have been more focused on being a hard worker than just being a human being.
While I don't know exactly where I may be going with this new frame of mind thinking, but I am ready to ride on the road and search for it. I want to travel more, go back home more, see my family and friends from all around the world more (and some friends whom are mostly photographers for the first time ever).
I want to stop and smell the flowers for more than just a few seconds. Maybe I've just been too naive for my own good, however, good things have come from being that way... so I can't be too mad at that way of thinking. Well, if everything happens for a reason and it took me this long to see it, I'm happy to see it now rather than later so I can make the necessary adjustments.